Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
