she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
