If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
