Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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