i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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