god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
