i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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