Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Drunk is not a location!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
