she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
