i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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