when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
