the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
