Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
