Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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