STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
