Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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