So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
