You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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