Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
