my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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