I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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