Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
