**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
