Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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