First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize