Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
