SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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