I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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