Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize