you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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