You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can't turn off my feet"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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