do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize