Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
