I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
