A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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