do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
