Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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