Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize