Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
