i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize