wrigley field is MILF paradise
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
