The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
