why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
where are my eyebrows?
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