What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
