THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How's work?
Spinning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
