I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
