Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
