There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
