That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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