Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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