I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
