She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
