took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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