There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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