I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
