He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
