you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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